The Scary Thing Is

The scary thing is
I don’t cry at the thought of not being,
It’s this state of being that scares me
Being alone, not so much without


The scary thing is
That the diluted illusion
Of some sort of an auspicious existence with you
Now a fading memory
Of what was,
That now may not be.


The scary thing is
All that I thought of you
That was me
Is now a stranger
Does this make me a stranger?
When I look in the mirror
Is it me that I see?
Or a reflection, a mere image of someone that I used to see
That I used to know
She smiles back
But I’m not smiling.


The scary thing is
The nightmares of you disappearing into the still of the night
Are now the calmer of my vivid reveries,
I’m just waiting now
Watching your shadow blur into the darkness
I’m just waiting now


The scary thing is
If you didn’t return from that which pulls you away
My eyes would remain as dry as they were
When they watched you go
Why?
Where have the emotions of my eyes gone?


The scary thing is that
When faced with this thought
I don’t turn and run the other way
Nor do I run towards the shadow
That now mocks me
I’m just standing here
Waiting
For what?


The scary thing is
My heart doesn’t beat twice as fast
As it did when my eyes first caught glimpse of you
The gleam of my eyes that flourished with happiness
Has dimmed down since then
The wick of the candle lit torch
That burned through the stone which guarded my heart
Now flickers with shame and dismay
Tired of waiting, shining
For a day, a moment
That may never come.


The scary thing is
In knowing all of this
Accepting the truths
The lies
The secrets
Both are scarred
Both are tainted
Both are watching the shadows in the distance
Not knowing whether they’re coming to or from
Both not caring


The shadows only grow as large as my flame allows it to.
She burns ever so bright now
Why?
I see you now
But I don’t see you
I’m listening to you now
But I don’t hear you


It doesn’t scare me anymore
Not knowing,
Whether tomorrow you’ll be laying here
With me
As you are today


Maybe that’s the scary thing.


"Stay Sole-Phresh, Stay Fly, Until Next Time...Goodbye"